Roses And Stones
by HordeFighter
Summary: Peeta unknowingly gets Katniss pregnant then leaves her for her own good because of the venom in his brain. Gale takes cares of her and admits he loves her. Peeta comes back to kat after months of being away. He becomes angry at the fact kat didn't tell him about the baby. Are kat and Peeta ready to become parents and will they find their way back to one another. Please read, enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Hello All and Welcome to my new story, I'm very excited to begin with this and have so many other stories in mind. As you may have noticed my stories come and go, I get one idea in my head, write it, then change my mind and delete it. It's just a problem I have to many ideas I want to start on at once, but I will say thing Roses and Stones is not going anywhere I have grown addicted to this story and have so many ideas :P, I am going to try and make it roughly around 30 to 40 chapters, so there will be lots to it. Just to let you all know there will be a lot of drama, a lot of mind games, swearing, sex, squeamish birthing scene and violence, so if any of that bothers you please don't read it :P, which who doesn't like the good stuff like that. My grammar and spelling are not the best as I have pointed out in the past, but I try my best :P.

I will NOT tolerate inappropriate reviews from anyone, if you don't like my story please just quietly go, don't sit there and right a thousand page PM telling me I'm a horrible writer and that my stories don't interest you. Now if you want to give me tips on how to become better (Aka Constructive Criticism) then that is fine I welcome that but please keep it clean. One last thing before we begin I will take requests and suggestions, so if there is something you want to see ask me and I'll see what I can do, ps I am fixing and adding to the story. Well enjoy :).

Rated M

Roses and Stones

Chapter 1

Heartbreak

I stroke my enormous belly as my gray seam eyes peer out into the dark night, rain spatters against the ground causing the earth to become soft and squishy for anyone venturing outside at this time of night and in this storm, mud would surely ruin they're shoes and drench they're clothes. She moves inside me I can feel her every single day and night as she plays with my bladder, kicks my ribs and kidneys, causing me to have to constantly go pee, and constant discomfort. She is running out of room this I'm sure of, and the closer it gets to her due date the more nervous and anxious I become, that I am going to be a mother and Peeta is going to be a father scares me, that information really hits me hard; How could we of let this happen. I'm not even sure if I will be a good mother at all, what if I screw her up or fail her? I have so many doubts about having a baby that sometimes I wish Peeta and I would have used something, protection, anything before we became intimate. It was a complete and total accident on both our parts, but a wonderful one I have to admit. He got me pregnant the night we made love in front of the fireplace on the floor, multiple blankets wrapped around us. He was so passionate and loving that night that nothing else in the entire world matter except our love, that was the night of our huge fight too. A fight that I would love to forget about, but it's there fresh in the back of my mind.

_Flashback_

_He paces back and forth with his hands behind his back and a smug look on his face, his cheeks are red with rage and his eyes are dilated. I have never seen him so mad in my entire life. It's so frightening to see him like this, and lately he's been angry a lot. At me? I don't know probably, I'm being stubborn as always and he hates it when I fight him on things like this, things that are really important. I don't give a shit about the hijacking or about his need to stay away from me for my own good. He is playing with my emotions and I hate it, whether he is doing it on purpose or not is a mystery to me. Maybe he is paying me back for all those times that I have lied to him during the games and the rebellion. He was such a mystery anymore I didn't know him, he wasn't the Peeta I fell in love with during the games, and I'm not sure he ever will be._

_I am sitting on the couch watching him pace angrily trying to chose his words carefully, not like it will help if he thinks about what he is going to say next, chances are he will say something that will upset me. Peeta is such a complicated man anymore. One minute he loves me and then the next he hates me and is trying his damn hardest to kill me. I don't blame him anymore though, considering he went through absolute hell, worst than me. Snow is the one to blame for this complicated mess, maybe his soul forever burn in hell._

_"You need to stop pacing" I plea, my knees are to my chest, my eyes are glued and fixed on him. _

_"You need to stop telling me what to do" He hisses "Why can't you understand?"_

_"God you make no sense. It's either you love me or you don't, simple as that. Pick one and get over it"_

_He rubs his temples in complete frustration "I love you I do, but I'm fucked up in the brain, that's why I left Katniss, okay. I came back to early, after the war."_

_"This isn't about the rebellion, Peeta. This is about you and I, You could have just stayed away and never came back" My words are venomous as I meant for them to be, and pain spreads across his face indicating that I have wounded him. _

_He is silent, his pacing has all but stopped and he is turned towards me, his blue ocean eyes boring into my own gray orbs. I take advantage of his silence "__5 months, Peeta!" I scream "You left me for five whole months and it killed me. You healed me..." My voice was cracking now, tears were on the way and there was no stopping them "Why did you come back after the rebellion to begin with HUH? If your plan was to heal me, get what you want and then throw me away like..." He cuts me off before I can say the word 'trash', and it's a good thing too because who know what would come spewing from my mouth next._

_"It wasn't like that! You were dying Katniss, giving up the will to live, and I care about you so much that the thought of losing you after everything we've been through it wasn't an option."_

_"Okay so you stopped me from killing myself the first time around, came back to the district to heal me, help me, make me fucking fall in love with you all over again, just to leave me because of the hijacking you've always had. Yeah that makes so much sense."_

_There is fury in his eyes "Okay so You want to forget what happened last night? How I threw you across the room, almost dislocated your jaw, beat you until you were bleeding and bruised, What kind of man does that? HUH ANSWER ME?"_

_"It's not your fault! Snow did that to you. You have no control over the things you have done and will do." _

_"I cant do this Katniss, We have to break up." _

_He stabbed my heart with a kitchen knife. I shake my head and allow the tears to fall from my eyes "NO" I d drop to my knees wailing and sobbing like a baby right in front on him. "I gave...you everything, my heart...my soul...my virginity, everything. I'm such an idiot for thinking I'd ever get you back, the real you." I wail and the tears cloud my vision. I bolt up from the couch and turn to face him, angry tears are rushing down my cheeks, I stare at him evilly "What the hell do you want from me? Do you want me to hurt? HUH? Because if that's it then congratulations in succeeding. "_

_"Stop Katniss."_

_"No I will not stop. Just admit you came back three months after the rebellion and used me." I wipe the stray tears which was pointless since fresh new ones took their place. I laugh without much humor "Now that I think of it we did hop in bed together rather quickly, I gave it up really easily."_

_I'm pissing him off even more "You really think that little of me? That I'd just take advantage of you like that. That I'd have sex with someone just to say I did it?" He shakes his head at me "Unbelievable. You really think I don't love you? That I don't remember loving you?" _

_"Then prove to me right here and now that you love me" I challenge. _

_He frowns and then in three long strides is towering over me, cuffing my face between his large hands. He kisses me deeply, his tongue poking out through his lips begging for entrance which I give him. Then we are on the ground in front of the fireplace, the blankets pulled off from the couch, and find a new home wrapped around our bodies. _

_End of Flashback_

Although it was six months ago the argument still stands, he still feels the need to distance himself from me and the baby and it was all because of his hijacking. The fucking hijacking is the source of all problems. Oh there are times where he just holds the back of the chair, curses to himself and waits for the false memory to fade back into the dark depths of his mind, but there are other times where he looks at me and sees a monster snarling back at him and the night before we had sex and conceived our daughter in front of the fireplace, was one of the worse episodes He has ever had. He had hit me so hard in the mouth during the episode that I actually thought he had dislocated my jaw. Then he threw me across the room and pounded the shit out of me while I laid there and cried begging him to come back to me.

When he finally did come back to me and saw the damage he had dealt; the anxiety and depression kicked in and he told me he would never lay another hand on me again. I didn't care I begged for him to hold me and to forget everything that had happen. He snapped out at himself and said that I was better off without him, that he loved me but he couldn't be with me because of the violent, dark side that hid beneath his body. He broke up with me that night leaving me in shattered pieces. I hit him, cursed at him ,telling him that everything we've been through was for nothing if he was just going to up and leave like he said he was going to.

He did end up breaking up with me and leaving me for a good 5 months before we had sex, and in that 5 months I was so depressed and so unhappy that I went back to the Katniss I once was before he healed me after the war. I wouldn't eat, I didn't sleep right for months, I cried a lot, personal hygiene wasn't on my list of things to do and my mother, mentor, housecleaning woman (Greasy Sae) and my ex-friend Gale, which that was another story about why he came back to district 12, all thought I was seriously going to die this time without Peeta.

He had once again come back to me after 5 months of being apart and told me he was sorry for what he put me through and I had asked him if there was hope for us and he had said no, that he would never touch me again or hurt me again. That was a lie. We had sex accidentally in front of the fireplace, it just happened, there was no stopping it no matter how hard we tried. He had come over to finish the memory book, I insisted it needed finished and that we started it together, and we needed to finish it together. He had agreed and we lit a fire, sat on the couch and got to work. We had a massive fight about 'us' and he kissed me because I challenged him, one kiss turned into two, and two turned into many and before I knew it he had my shirt off, pinned me to the ground, kept repeating over and over how much he missed me and how much he loved me. I couldn't stop myself from kissing him.

In front of the fireplace wasn't the first time him and I had sex either. We've had it multiple times when we were growing and healing together. He was my first and I was his first. Afterwards, when I lay on his chest in front of the fire while he stroked me I got it in my head that everything was going to be okay, that we were back together, that sex solved everything. How wrong I was; when I woke up the next morning he was gone. The flames in the fireplace died out and there was a note on the coffee table saying 'I'm sorry I've made this twice as hard than it needs to be'. I cried all day long and just laid there naked in front of the dead fire remembering his warmth and comforting words.

We avoided each other like the plague after that situation. I would hunt every single day taking my mind off things by hunting the little pests in the woods. I would get so much game that I didn't know what to do with it all. Greasy Sae had too much she wouldn't take anymore and same with the traders in The Hob, so I just stored it and cooked it whenever I had a craving. The day I found out I was pregnant was the day my long-lost ex-friend Gale Hawthorne came back to District 12.

At first I was pissed to see him here. I'd curse at him and call him a murderer, refusing to even let him defend himself. I got myself so worked up I puke all over his shoes when he stood in the doorway of my living room. I puked and then blacked-out, waking up on the couch curled up in a ball with a couple of blankets wrapped around me. Gale had lit a fire to keep me warm and he had sat on the recliner with his hands folded waiting for me to wake up. I gave him a chance and that night we talked and talked, got everything out. We had talked all night and half the morning and it wasn't until noon did the two of us finally fall asleep until 8 at night. I had puked so many times that night that Gale actually thought I was coming down with something. We both brushed it off, but then it happened again in the woods and that's when he forced me to go to the newly built medical center of District 12.

The midwife :Myra had confirmed that I was only a couple of weeks pregnant and there was nothing I could do about it. Gale didn't have to ask who the baby's father was; he already knew it was Peeta's baby and he held me as I bawled my eyes out. I told him how much I loved Peeta and how much I was dying inside not being with him. I was nearing 6 months now and still haven't puck up the courage to tell Peeta about the baby. Gale says I should or it will make things ten times worse. He's not even in 12 at the moment he went to the Capitol, for reason that are unknown to me. I had so many chances to tell him about the baby, but I never even took the opportunity to do so. We ran into each other so many times after our break-up and each time he told me he still loves me, that he wants to work things out with me, and that he will never ever love anyone else, but this venom that coursed through his body was a deadly and dangerous one. He couldn't live with himself if he actually killed me. I didn't tell him about the baby because I didn't want to stress him out even more. He was right when he had said he'd been return to 12 way too early. His mind was still a clouded mess and I hate to say or even think about it, but he was right he was a mess and he always will be a mess if he didn't do something.

I stare out into the pouring rain as the baby moves around inside me, kicking me hard. I feel a soft hand on my shoulder and glance back to find dark gray seam eyes staring back at me with a concerned expression.

"Hey. You ok?" Gale asked concern. "You kind of woke me up with a foot to the face as you were climbing out of bed."

It's not what it seems. Gale and I sleep together but its head to toe and not romantic what's so ever and I like the company and all, knowing I'm not alone, knowing someone else is right beside me caring for me. He is my best friend and I was thankful to have the old Gale back. The one I hunted with when we were kids. Of course I can see it in his eyes that he wants me, needs me, needs things to get serious between the two of us, wants me to trust him so much that he has a reason to kiss me. I wont though, I can't; I love Peeta. I love him so much and I need to tell him about the baby and I need him to hold me at night, I need him in bed not Gale.

I start crying as my thoughts get the best of me and Gale is placing his hands at my back and rubbing me comfortingly. The baby feels my stress and begins to move non-stop. I place my hand on my stomach and take a deep breath willing myself to calm down for the baby's sake. Thoughts cloud my mind, What if I really do never see him again? What if he settles down in the capitol, heals and falls in love with someone else. Where does that leave me? Alone and miserable for the rest of my life.

"I love him, Gale. I love him so much. I hate that he is going through this. I hate that he doesn't know"

"I know, Catnip, I know it hurts. Dr. Aurelius returned him to 12 too soon, that's what you told me. You were right and Peeta knew it too."

"I know dammit" I snap at him. These hormones were really taking a toll on me, one minute I was crying, laughing, angry, jealous for no reason; it is all very overwhelming for me to handle.

"Look Catnip, You need to tell him okay, that's part of your problem there. Its been how many months since...you...conceived" He grits out the last part, his face turning into a forced look of concern, but in reality he wants to kill Peeta for getting me pregnant and then taking off back to the capitol to continue his hijacking treatment without the knowledge of getting me pregnant.

"I'm six months pregnant Gale. He's been gone for 4, I had 2 months to tell him, but we just avoided each other like the plague. I could have told him before he left but I didn't and now I don't know what I'm going to do." There are so many questions that are buzzing in my head that I start to feel dizzy, what if he has moved on after all these months? What if he decides to stay in the capitol and open up a bakery there. Will my daughter even know her father? Gale was right I needed to tell Peeta no matter what.

"I'm doing it, now" I mumble.

Gale raises a confused eyebrow "What?"

"I need to tell him he's going to be a father." I say a bit louder this time.

"Katniss it's four in the morning. Do you even have his number? Do you know what time it is there, their like 2 hours behind us."

I shrug "I don't care, I love him, I need him and my baby needs him."

Gale continues to protest "You should wait until you had some sleep okay, your upset now I get it. You don't want to do it over the phone. Just wait a little longer, call him up tomorrow, now get back to bed and sleep"

I don't argue with him, I pull my large body up from the chair next to the window and waddle over to the bed, slipping under the covers. Too my surprise Gale gets in bed so we are face to face, I somewhat feel uncomfortable as his body becomes so close to mine, but I'm too tired to do anything and suddenly sleep overtakes me and I'm once again plunged into a world of terror, darkness and hatred, and there is nothing to pull me back from it, no boy with the bread, just fire that feeds my rage.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

What's the point.

I sit on the comfortable couch in complete silence, my fingers brushing over the cool surface of the cordless phone. Gale narrows his eyes at me as I take a deep breath and pick up the blackish gray phone and place it against my ear. I dial Dr. Aurelius' number and it unfortunately rings busy. I try multiple times but get the same results. Dr. A is a very busy man and I was foolish to think I could even try to get ahold of time at this time of day. It's nearing noon now and the baby nudges me for food. I slam the phone down and waddle my way into the kitchen, opening the fridge door only to be greeted with the disgusting stench of rotting game or what smelled like rotting game, according to Gale it smelled just fine, but what did he know? He didn't have enhance pregnancy senses like I did, if he wanted to cook and eat rotten game then he could go for it. I settled for some leftover rice and crackers for lunch which that turned into a cold cut turkey sandwich and squirrel stew that Gale had made for me, Well that I asked him to make for me. I seriously ate like a pig and afterwards I wanted to cry because I probably just gained 10 pounds. I hated being this big and would often get sensitive when Gale and I walked into town and people eyed my large stomach. I felt fat because most people were skinny as a rail.

Gale told me to not worry about what other people were doing. I was pregnant with a growing baby so I was allowed to be bigger than most of the girls in the district. Actually I was the biggest girl in the district right now, nobody in their right mind would ever think about getting pregnant at a time like this. The war has only ended not even a year and a half ago, nothing is set and stone. Paylor is trying her hardest to get the districts back into shape pass fair laws, and get representatives from each district which 12 really hasn't changed that much since the bombing. We've rebuilt many buildings in the past year and a half, but nothing major and there was still a lot of work needed to be done. The Capitol couldn't really help us until they get the funds straighten out. Paylor needs to split it all up and decide for herself what District should get what. It's a tough job, but I know she'll do good.

"I don't know what to do Gale" I blurt out suddenly as we sit at the table and eat. "This is all so confusing for me. One minute he comes back to me after the war, heals me. We fall in love all over again. We become a couple, become happy and the moment he has an violent episode, beats the shit out of me which I forgive him for. He leaves me for months and then to make things harder he comes back, we have sex again, this time he gets pregnant and he leaves again, now tell me how that make sense?"

Gale cringes as the word sex comes out of my mouth, but his pain vanishes as quickly as it comes and he merely shrugs "It doesn't make sense to me at all. I think Mellark is confused about what he wants to do and I think him doing what he did to you was..." He choses his words very carefully "Uncalled for. He should have stayed away the first time he left you, not come back, have sex with you and then bail." He pauses for a second and looks up at me, his eyes swimming with confusion, like he doesn't know what he should say next, but what comes out next completely shocks the hell out of me. "I'd never do that to you Catnip, I'd never hurt you like he has. Don't you see it's supposed to be like this."

I shoot him a nasty look "What the fuck you talking about, Gale?"

He bites his lip hard "Just hear me out, Katniss please"

I glare at him and remain quiet.

"I'm in love with you Katniss. I always have been and always will be. I don't care if this confession pisses you off or not. I love you. I came back to fix things with you and I did. I want to take care of you and that baby. Fuck Mellark for what he has done to you." He gets angry and raises from his place at the table, scraping his chair against the floor "That bastard got you pregnant and took off he doesn't deserve to be in that baby's life."

I snap "What the hell do you know? Peeta took off because he loves me, because he wants to get better FOR ME and once he finds out about this baby he will try twice as hard to get better."

"Mellark said there was no hope for you guys so there, right in front of you is all you need to think about. Think about those words. I would never hurt you like that. I'd never beat you, leave you, take advantage of you and then leave again."

"That's not what he did. He may have done a lot of things, but I know deep down he loves me and I love him so much" I break down into tears at the table, placing my head on the surface for a split second and then whipping it up to glare my hateful eyes into Gale's "Get out, I'm not listening to this."

"No I'm not leaving you, Catnip. It's too late for you to get rid of me. Why can't you just move on, look at what you have right here. He's not coming back Katniss. That selfish prick left you pregnant, sure he has the right to know about the baby since he is the father, but do you really think he'd come running back here knowing he is a danger to you and her?, knowing that shit in his brain would cause him to snap your neck and kill you and the baby. Do you really think he will risk that?"

"That's not for you to decide Gale. You have no idea what's going on here. What him and I are going through. What he has went through"

He comes around the table, kneeling in front of me, moving his hand so they lay flat against my stomach. I want to hit him, to push his hands away from my belly. I'm tired though and I barely have the strength to get through this argument. He is mad at Peeta for leaving me, hell I'm mad at Peeta for leaving me, but I know deep down inside him, he loves me and he will be back when the time is right. There is no way in hell I'd ever replace Peeta with Gale. I just don't have those types of feelings for my friend. I can't believe he is doing this after all the progress we have made. I have forgiven him for Prim and those capitol children. I gave him a chance to be my friend again, to have things back to the way they were, but he always wants more. He wants me and he wants the baby.

"I want to be father to that baby...I want..." I cut him off as blind rage fills my body at his words, my hand forms a fists and I punch him in the nose with all the strength I have left in me. He stumbles backwards from his kneeling position and falls flat on his back, cracking his head off the white kitchen titles. How dare he say something like that. He rises from the ground, rubbing the back of his sore head.

"You will never, ever, be father to this baby. Do you fucking understand?" I scream.

"Katniss, please."

"NO, you will never replace Peeta in her life. Peeta is her father, and he will be the one she will be calling daddy not you. How dare you, Gale. After everything We've talked about."

"I know I'm just saying..."

"No you're not just saying shit. He is coming back to me. He always does, don't you understand?"

"Katniss there is a possibility he wont and you know it!" Gale screams. "We've known each other our whole lives, Catnip. I love you, I'll take care of you and her. You don't want her growing up with a man that has mental issues, and murderous thoughts about her mother. Do you want to expose her to that kind of violence? Chances are he'd hurt her as well; is that what you want!?"

"Fucking get out now" I stand up from the chair and slap him hard across the face "He would never hurt his daughter ever. He is a wonderful kind human being and as soon as he gets his hijacking under control. He is going to fix things with 'us', and he is going to be prepared to be a father. Now get the fuck out"

He doesn't fight me, just picks himself up off the floor, wiping his bloody nose on his gray t-shirt. I'm sitting in the chair crying my eyes out. He takes a step forward and I just scream at him, no words comes out of my mouth; just high-pitched screams and cries. He leaves without another word and I slouch out of the chair and lay down on the tiles, crying and screaming, wishing and praying Peeta was here to make it better, wishing that the capitol never caught him and poisoned his mind, making him believe I was some sort of ugly mutt that was out to get him.

I don't know how long I stayed on the kitchen floor crying and sobbing, but before I knew what was going on I was being lifted up by a pair of rough, wobbly arms. Haymitch. I blink away the tears and gaze up into his eyes as he slowly carries me into the living room and set me gently down on the leather couch. He places a pillow under my head and a blanket around my body, patting my baby bump gently in the process. He takes the recliner and pops open a bottle of booze, immediately I feel like I'm going to be sick and bury my nose into the pillow.

"That seemed like a hell of a fight, Sweetheart." Haymitch commented as he downed the booze quickly. "The whole Victor's village could hear you."

"Gale is a damn fool. I can't believe he just said all of that. He will never be this baby's father I swear it."

"Damn idiot. What are you going to do sweetheart?"

"I'm going to tell him the truth about the baby. I'm going to tell him I love him and I need him, and pray he forgives me for not telling him about the baby sooner."

"And how are you planning on doing all that?" Haymitch asks as he takes another swing of beer. "The Capitol is miles away and you can't very well do something this serious over the phone, and if I know the boy and I do he is not going to jump on the first train down here to meet you. Once that kids get something in his head its hard for him to change his mind. If he believes he represents a danger for you and the baby, then he'll stay away from you. The kid is hard-headed and stubborn."

"I just want to tell him about our baby that's all I want is for him to know" I cry out. "I was an idiot for keeping this from him, maybe if I would have told him when I found out he'd still be here."

"Now don't go getting yourself worked up and slobbering all over the place, its sick. Now first thing you got to do is go find your handsome friend and make up with him. Despite what he said he has still done a lot for you and he really is the only person you have to take care of you right now. My health isn't that great and I can't keep affording to lift and carry you places"

I give him a worried glance "What's wrong with your health?"

Haymitch waves me off "Eh nothing just getting old and run-down is all."

I get the feeling he is hiding something from me, but I don't drill him with questions or comments. I'm to tired for all of this, its been a long and stressful day, and all I want to do is curl up in my bed and sleep. I know the nightmares will be strong tonight so I have to brace myself for what is to come; seeing my friends die over and over, seeing my sister burnt and dead in my arms as the light leaves her eyes. I don't know if I can handle any of that on my own. I sure as hell am not going to let Gale into my bed tonight or any other night for that matter. I'm furious at him at this second and seeing his face right now will only build my rage. He best stay away tonight, it's for his own good. If he was smart he would stay away for a couple of days, but something tells me he isn't going to do that. He wont leave me alone for too long, not when I'm so heavily pregnant.

I place my hand against my belly, hoping to feel her move. She does and a smile appears on my face. She knows who her mother is, if only her daddy were able to feel her move then everything would be complete. I sit up on the couch and glance over at Haymitch, he is watching me intently stroke my large belly. There is fascination is his gray eyes, as if he has never seen an expecting mother stroke her unborn child before.

"When this baby is born I want you to be her grandfather." I blurt out suddenly catching him completely off guard. He stares at me in bewilderment and I'm actually wondering if I have just put him in shock. He sighs heavily and sets his bottle down on the coffee table before getting up and pacing back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back. Haymitch has certainly aged overtime, his hair is more of a gray color now, the wrinkles have set in indicating he is getting older and more dependent. There are more things he has trouble doing like cooking and cleaning for himself, that's why Peeta and I used to invite him over for breakfast, lunch and dinner, every single day because otherwise he will go without eating anything. Now that Peeta left District 12 I have been too depressed to take care of myself so now Greasy Sae takes care of Haymitch's cleaning and cooking and occasionally tries to help me out, but I HAD Gale with me, and he made me eat and helped me with the chores so I really didn't need Greasy Sae for any of that.

I know Gale has good intentions and he just wants what's best for me, but this confession he had admitted only a few minutes ago was just way to much. He crossed the line when he said he wanted to be father to my baby. Fuck him this baby will never call him 'daddy', not as long as I'm breathing. She will know who her father is and she will love him and spend time with him, no matter what.

Haymitch finally stops pacing and looks up at me with a small smile "I appreciate that sweetheart I really do, but I don't know the first thing about kids. Never had them, closest thing to kids was You and Peeta. You are like my own. I'll help as much as I can with the time I have."

I give him a questioning look "What the hell do you mean 'with the time you have' and 'your health isn't great', What aren't you telling me, Haymitch and please don't give me no bullshit. Be completely honest with me Haymitch I'm an adult."

Haymitch chuckles and takes a swing of beer "Young adult. What are you 21?"

"20, now don't change the subject." I hiss.

Haymitch sighs and nods his head multiple times before sitting back into the recliner "Don't freak out, don't break down into tears I ain't afraid to yell at a pregnant lady." I glare at him and he chuckles "Okay maybe you do scare me a bit, but no crying understood."

I nod.

"I'm suffering from what the doctor quacks call a Cirrhosis disease" He mutters.

"What's that?"

"It is an abnormal liver disease caused by drinking. I've been drinking since I was 17 years old and in that time I've done nothing but permanently scar my liver. Basically as the quacks say my healthy liver tissue is replaced by scar tissue or some shit like that, and at some point it can cause liver failure and I can bite it If I don't watch."

"Are you dying then?" I bite back the tears that are surfacing. I promised him I wouldn't cry but I can't help it "Cant the capitol do anything for you?"

"Eh the hell with those people, they're the ones that drove me to this"

"You can't just give up and die" My voice is cracking.

"Sweetheart I'm an old dinosaur"

"Your 44 for fuck sake. There has to be something we can do for you."

"Sweetheart you promised you wouldn't get upset"

I hadn't realized the tears were streaming down my face as his news sinks in. I love my mentor, he was like a second father to me and the thought of losing him was just simply unbearable. I abandon the couch, pillow and blank and waddle over towards him, standing face to face with him. I didn't care that I had the urge to vomit from his foul odor. I fling my arms around him and hug him tightly. I was not going to give up on Haymitch no matter what. He had to live, he had to stay alive.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry if it was too soon for Peeta to come back into the story :P, and I changed the summary for you to, story is headed in a different direction. Please read and enjoy. I love reviews too, but those aren't mandatory, although I'd like them to be haha, but if you don't have nothing to say then ehh of well as long as you enjoy the story I'm happy. :D. one more thing this story is going to have a lot of drama in it so if you don't like that lol please don't read. Thank you 3

Chapter 3

Unexpected

I was so uncomfortable that I tossed and turned all night long, begging the baby to move her tiny foot. The position it was in was painful and prevented me from getting a good nights rest. All she did was move and kick me and all I could do was lay there and take it like a champ. There was no stopping her at all, she was getting bigger and before I knew it I would be going into labor with her. 3 more months that's all I had left, three months and her father still didn't know she existed. If I knew Peeta and I did, he was going to be very angry with me for not telling him about the baby sooner, but I didn't have to worry about his reaction just yet, all I had to worry about was the fact that he was long gone, somewhere in the Capitol doing god knows what to himself.

The fight with Gale was still fresh in the back of my mind and I still refused to talk him over the next couple of days. He apologized non-stop, begged me to forgive him and told me that he didn't want to lose all the progress that the two of us made. It took some time to forgive him for Prim and it was going to take some time for me to forgive him for what he said about 'being father to the baby' and about Peeta never coming back to me. I still hadn't found the courage to pick up the phone and talk to him, not like Dr. Aurelius would answer the phone anyway. He was a very busy man and chances are he didn't even have Peeta's number. How I was going to get ahold of him was a complete mystery to me. The day he left he made it pretty clear that we were not going to have any contact until he was healthy. I remember that day at the train station so clearly and I regret everyday since he left that I didn't tell him about the baby. I had two fucking months to do it and I didn't, and I don't think he will forgive me for it.

My midwife says I'm under to much stress, that the baby is in the wrong place, her head is supposed to be pointed down, but instead its up, she is backwards and that is going to be a problem considering I'm small and my birthing may be a serious issue for the baby to get past. She is large right now five pounds at six months and she is only going to keep growing. Overall she has a strong heartbeat, her organs are developing just fine, not problem, only she is backwards and that she may have strong getting past my pelvic and hip area. My midwife says if I can't push her out naturally that they may have to cut me open and force her out that way and C-section is the last thing I want to go through. I want to go all natural no drugs or anything. I don't want to do anything that could possible hurt the baby.

I make my way back home feeling slightly uncomfortable with all the walking back and forth between town and the Victor's village. Once I get home Gale is waiting for me, sitting on the couch with a coffee in hand, and the TV on. I glare angrily at him as I come through the door, shooting him multiple venomous looks in his direction.

"I would have took you to your appointment." Gale says.

"I didn't want you too, I don't even want you in this house at the moment."

"I'm sorry okay I should have never said those things." He apologies for the thousandth time in the past week.

"You better damn well apologize."

I waddle over to the recliner and take a seat, rubbing my large belly in the process. I'm worried at the fact that she is upside down, backwards, I didn't care what happened to me during the labor all I cared about was her and delivering her without any harm being done. Gale watched me stroke and palm at her with a worried expression on my face, I can't help it I'm stressed, upset most of the days and angry all at the same time. Even my midwife said I need to take at least some stress off, I need to relax because being this stressed isn't good for me or the baby.

"Are you okay?"

"No I'm not" I reply honestly.

"What's wrong?"

So I tell him, despite being angry with him. He is all I have left, him and Haymitch, and honestly I don't want to think about Haymitch right now because I will become more stressed and upset at the fact that Haymitch has developed a liver disease over the years. Everyone knew it was coming, you don't get to drink for years and years non-stop and expect to be healthy as a horse. I'd deal with that situation when the time came, but right now my baby and her father was all that mattered.

"The baby's feet are going to come first instead of her head, and it may be a risk because my hip and pelvic area may be too small for her to get through. They may have to do a C-section if things get to bad."

"Your going to get through this, Catnip. Your strong and I am here for you. I don't give a shit if your mad at me. No way in hell I'm going to leave you."

I tell Gale I want to take an hours nap, he lets me go without another word and I pull myself up the stairs in into bed where I try hard to go to sleep. Sleep does eventually find me and that's when the nightmares start. They come hard and fierce, and I have no strong arms to protect me. I wake up crying, tears run down my face as I sit up in bed, sweat covering my entire body.

My stomach growls almost painfully and I make my way out of bed and towards the top of the stairs. I stop dead in my tracks as I hear two people arguing downstairs, their voices are raised and I recognize them both Gale and my heart thumps loudly in my chest. It can't be. He can't be here. Gale has to have the phone of speaker. There was no way he was in my kitchen arguing with Gale. He's been gone for what felt like years, but really its only been 4 months. I bolt down the stairs as fast as my pregnant body would carry me. It was impossible he wasn't back, it just seemed like it was way to soon for him to come back. He couldn't find help that fast.

I rounded the corner to the kitchen just in enough time for Gale to spit a fuck you in his direction. I began hyperventilating, his back was to me, his blonde hair was longer than I remembered and he was dressed in boots, camouflaged pants and a matching t-shirt. Gale's eyes flickered in my direction and he bit his lip. Peeta followed his gaze and his eyes became wide. I placed my hand on my mouth, tears rushing out of my seam gray eyes. I stood there immobilized unable to go to him, unable to wrap my arms around his strong neck and drive him into a deep kiss.

"Peeta? Your back?" I cry out in happiness.

"I am back" his ocean blue eyes flicker to my large stomach and he gives me a questionable stare "Your pregnant?"

I can't take it anymore I rush forward and throw my arms around his neck, driving him into a deep kiss, not even caring if Gale is standing right there glaring at the two of us. Peeta kisses me back for a couple of seconds and gently pushes me back. I can't believe he was back so soon, so many questions buzzed through my head. I needed and wanted to talk to him in private, I needed to know what was going on with him, with the hijacking, with us, because right now we were not together, he was not mine and I was not his. He broke up with me, complicated things and I just wanted to fix everything.

"Gale can you excuse us please" I pleaded with my friend.

"Fuck no I'm not leaving you alone with this trash. Mellark go the fuck away. You can't just show up uninvited like this and stress her out even more. You chose to leave no go."

"Fuck you Gale." Peeta hisses. "I'm not talking to you anymore."

"Good now get out of our house, leave us and 'our' baby alone."

Peeta is suddenly so quiet, the whole room is blasted with an eerie silence. His blue eyes bore into mine with such hatred, sorrow, pain every negative emotion you can come up with. He backs away from me and glances from Gale to me. I can see the tears start to form in his eyes as he backs out of the kitchen. OH god he thinks I'm carrying Gale's baby.

"Peeta stop, please. It's not his, it's yours. Please stop and talk to me please Peeta."

He wont stop though, he pounds his way towards the front door, not even giving me time to explain myself. I will never forgive Gale for this. He is now dead to me, I can't believe he'd do such a thing. I grab hold of Peeta's forearm and gently pull him back with all the strength I had. His eyes are filled with tears and sorrow. He pulls away from me hatefully.

"Please look at me, Peeta. I never had sex with him. This baby is yours" This was not how I wanted him to find out about the pregnancy. "I swear to god it's yours. You're the only man I have ever had sex with."

"I got to think." Peeta mutters.

"About what?!" I scream "About the baby? About me? What the hell are you even doing here? You pop up out of nowhere AGAIN, and this is the first time I see you in months your arguing with my ex-friend."

Gale is leaning against the living room wall with his hands folded across his chest. He raises an eyebrow at my words "Ex-friend? Is that what you're calling me now"

"Shut up" Peeta and I say at the same time.

I turn my attention back to him "You don't call, you don't write you don't do anything but trample about in the capitol. I was going to call you just to see how you were doing, but you never even gave me your number. You never gave me anything to contact you. It was like you didn't want to be found, like you didn't love me anymore. I know you don't love me anymore." I'm so hurt and I'm crying so hard that words are just spewing from my mouth without me even thinking about what I am saying. "I just want you to talk to me, that's it, and I want you to know this baby is yours. I never slept with Gale."

"Lies" Gale mumbled. Peeta had ears like a hawk and didn't miss Gale's mumble.

"Please, please just stay here and talk to me. Tell me what's going on, please" I cry. My hand is gripping his arm so hard that I'm surprise I haven't cut off the circulation. He is tense I can feel it.

"Fine." He says and moves away from the door and towards the couch " I want him to leave though."

"Get out Gale." I hiss.

"No"

"Right fucking now"

Gale sees my anger, resentment and blind rage towards him. He doesn't argue just shoots one last nasty look in Peeta's direction and slams the front door in the process. What a way to wake up from my afternoon nap. I move across the living room and take the recliner, the baby has not stop moving since the fight began and I can tell she is completely stressed out as much as I am. Peeta and I are completely silent for a couple of second and then he breaks the intense silence.

"I don't know what to do Katniss. I tried to find help for my hijacking I really did. I searched that entire city looking for anyone that could help me, but nothing. There is no helping a hijacked patient. Dr. Aurelius' said he'd work with me, but his methods aren't enough. I came back because I need to talk to you, this is a serious situation we are in. I know it was hard for you seeing me come and go like this, but it was needed Katniss. I needed to do it. I need to do everything in my power to make sure your safe. I can ever break your arms and ribs and nose, I can't hold a kitchen knife at your throat. I love you, you know that and I always will, I've tried so hard to get better, but I just can't. This is who I am now and I don't want you to be apart of it."

"So healing me after the war, loving me, being with me was all for nothing. And the baby?" I place my hands against my stomach.

"Do you swear to me that the baby is mine?"

"Yes." I cry.

"How far are you?"

"I'm 6 months" I reply honestly.

"Wait" His lips turn into a frown as he does the math in his head. "I've only been gone for 4 months, are you telling me you were pregnant before I even left 12 and you never told me about it?"

"I'm sorry" How was I going to get out of this.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Woot Woot I love getting review they make me feel good inside :P. Keep them coming if you can lol you don't have to but you can hehe

Chapter 4

His eyes are full of sorrow and tears. It was the worst thing in the world to witness him crying and to know that I am the cause of it makes me feel even worse, it will be worse if I sit here and lie to his face, I already done enough lying to him to, its time to tell him the truth from start to finish. He is no saint Peeta either. He has done worse shit to me than I have done to him. For starters coming home from the war and healing me, falling in love with each other than fucking me over by leaving me. Gale was right he should have just stayed away the first time, save me the heart-ache and pain of his return, but no he had to come back and have sex with me, knock me up and then crush me again. It seems like that is all he is good for is crushing me to death, make me feel so bad about myself. Isn't that what designed him to do anyway? Break me. He's doing a fabulous job of that with the help of Gale of course, and here I thought Gale was trying to help me get through this. What he wanted was my love, for hope that I might feel something for him. That ship has sailed though. I don't love Gale like that anymore. I don't think I ever did to begin with, but that's not how he sees it, and I know he is going to try everything in his power for me to forgive him, but that's not going to happen.

Gale did the unforgivable by basically telling Peeta that this baby wasn't his, that him and I had basically had sec when in reality all we did was sleep in the same bed and it was head to toe. Fuck Gale I hope the rain storm that is supposed to hit tonight floods his house, shack, or wherever he plans on staying, because he sure as hell isn't staying here. I glance up at Peeta, who is on the edge of his seat, waiting for me to answer his question. I don't want to answer him though I want to throw my arms around him, kiss him, have him hold me tonight and chase away the nightmares.

"So? Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant. I didn't leave right away after we had sex."

I wipe the tears that were streaming down my face "I just thought it would add to the stress that you were under and I didn't want that, and I didn't want you to worry."

He frowns "Worry that I might not only kill you but our baby is that it? Nice job in protecting our baby from its fucked up father, nice job hiding it from its fucked-up father too, not like I knew about it before so why worry if I snapped your neck killing you and the baby. Are you sure its mine? because if it was mine should I of already know by now? HUH?" I jump as he raises his voice and more tears streamed down my face, but he didn't feel the slightest bad for me and I didn't blame him. I kept that knowledge from him and there was no way I could ever take back the harm of not telling him.

"I'm sorry you have every right to be mad" I mutter.

"You damn right I have every right to be mad." Peeta hisses. "Did you want me to leave you to fuck about in the capitol?"

I look at him in disbelief "No, it killed me that you did."

"Then you should have told me!" He shouts "And I would have stayed to take care of you instead of wasting all that time in the capitol looking for mental help."

I am angry now. He is trying to put all the blame on me and I'm not going to have that "You son of a bitch don't put this all on me, if I would have told you it would have given you another reason to leave. You would have left me pregnant regardless if I would have told you or not."

Peeta rubs his temples in frustration and sighs deeply. he knows I'm right about all this. Yes maybe I shouldn't have kept the baby a secret like that, but what was done was done and there was no changing it. We sit in an awkward silence for the longest time before he rises to his feet and begins pacing back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back. I know that look on his face, it indicates confusion and anger. He has no idea how to handle this situation.

"I just wish you would have told me is all" His voice is smoother and softer as he speaks. "I feel so bad now Kat, I would have been there for you. Despite the venom."

"I know you would have. I regret not telling you Peeta."

He is quiet for a couple of minutes, and moves forward so he is towering over me on the recliner. I feel my heart leap in my chest and he knees down in front of me. I pray to god he kisses me and doesn't stop. I love him so much despite the anger and rage he just had moments ago. He is pissed about the baby, that I am sure of and the chances of him forgiving me any time soon are slim to none at the moment.

"Can I feel it kick?"

"Actually you can feel 'her' kick" I correct.

Peeta's eyes widen and a small smile appears on his face as he mumbles a quiet "Her, A girl?"

"Yes, she is going to be strong like her father."

I take his hand gently in my own and guide it to my incredibly large belly. She doesn't move at first, probably sleeping comfortable on top of my bladder, but as soon as I gently nudge her, the rounds of kickball begins and she is kicking me non-stop. I will never forget the look of pure joy that spread across Peeta's face as he feels his daughter move for the first time. All the anger and rage he had towards me fades, forgotten, buried deep inside him. He moves his hands back and forth across my stomach smiling and mumbling to either himself or to her, probably her.

"Am I forgiven" I ask quietly.

He shakes his head "I'm still plenty pissed at you."

I frown "Well I'm pissed at you too." I push his hand from my belly and cross my arms, laying them over are daughter. He looks at me frowning, having not been ready to be ripped away from our daughter. He stands from his kneeling position and stares at me for a couple of minutes before once again begins to pace back and forth again. Angered. I see the wheels turning in his head and the confusion that spreads across his handsome features.

"What are you going to do?"

He shrugs "I don't know Katniss. This is all my fault you know. I should have thought it through that night. I shouldn't have came back here."

The tears are on the way again "I do love you, do you know that?" I announce.

He nods his head but doesn't say anything.

"Do you still love me?" I ask in a crying tone.

He nods again "Yes Katniss I do love you. Why do you even have to ask."

"Because it seems like you don't anymore. Ever since the end of the games I've been dying to have you back and the moment I believe that your back everything hits the heal me, you hurt me unintentionally and then you leave me. I'm hurt and shattered that you left, but then you appear again. We have sex, passionate, strong bonding sex in front of that fireplace, you told me multiple times that you loved me and later said it was a mistake. You leave again and now your back. What do you want Peeta." I stand up, turning and facing him "you want me to move on? Is that it, Why do you keep showing up like this, its killing me."

"I know this is a complicated situation Katniss and I know I'm confusing. I'll never be the man I was before the games I've excepted that. I'm different, I'm not me anymore I know this. What they did to me in that dungeon was inhumane I would of never wished it on anyone, not even Snow himself. I don't think..."

I cut him off pointing my index finger in his face "See right there tells me that your still a good person. What you just said about Snow tells me that your still you and that somewhere deep down is the man I fell in love with."

"The man you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore."

"Bullshit you're in there I know you are, and I love you deeply, passionately, unconditionally." I approach him, placing my hands into his, and guiding them to my large belly "And I want you in this baby's life. I want you to stop running away in fear of hurting me because that is the last thing you have ever done to me. You've only hurt me by leaving me. I just need to know that I want you to be in my life and the baby's, that this isn't the last time I am going to see you before you take off again."

His hands are still on my belly, his eyes are cast down to a spot on the floor. He wont look me in the eyes, but he speaks very softly "Katniss, I can't"

I pull his hands away from me again "Why the hell did you come back then if you didn't want to be with me and your daughter? You know what just get out, leave your so good at that"

"Katniss please I want to make sure your safe from me. There is no cure to what I have. I'm going to live with this for the rest of my life..."

"Get out and stop making excuses! You don't want to be with me or our daughter. SO LEAVE" I can't see anything in front of me, the tears cloud my vision making it impossible to see the look on his face. I wipe them from my eyes and he comes into view. He is close to me, so close that all I had to do was lean my head up and my lips would be on his, but I wont do that now I can hardly stand him at the moment.

"Katniss..."

"I need you to leave, please"

"I can't leave you like this." Peeta says and tries pulling me into a hug, but I hit his chest pushing myself away from him.

"Go"

"No" He rejects. "I'm not leaving."

He is stressed out and so am I "GO"

"NO!" He screams "I LOVE YOU."

The front door opens startling the both of us and Gale walks in to make things much worse. I'm wondering if he was there on the front porch the whole time listening to our conversation, good I hope he heard me tell Peeta I loved him. I hope he heard every single word that I said. Peeta and I both looked at him with hateful expressions, this is a private conversation he is intruding on. Besides I don't want him here. I told him to get out and the fact that he has been on the front porch eavesdropping on us pisses me off even more. I hope he understands now that I love Peeta and nobody else. Gale is stubborn though, he wont let a few words stop him from getting what he wants and what he wants right now are to have me and take care of my baby, which that is not going to happen.

"What do you want Gale?" I hiss.

"I'm tired of listening to you cry" He turns his attention to Peeta "She told you to get out so get the fuck out."

"No, You get the fuck out of our conversation. Fucking eaves dropper."

"Like I'd leave her alone with a psychotic killer like you Mellark"

"Excuse me? Killer? Did I blow up innocent children for the fun of it. Not to mention an innocent little girl who had a bright future ahead of her. What was her name? Prim that's it." Peeta hisses.

"Fuck off." Gale snaps.

"You fuck off"

They get into each others faces and I'm not sure if I could stop them from pounding the hell out of each other, and that's where things were going if I didn't act quickly and get into the middle of these two. Peeta's fists were clutched and his eyes became darker and darker as Gale spewed nasty words at him, provoking him, egging him on. I knew how violent Peeta could get when he was provoked like this and as much as I hated Gale now I didn't want to see him badly hurt. Peeta was capable of doing a lot to a person when he was pissed.

"Both of you knock if off now" I yell, but they ignore me.

"Go ahead Mellark take a swing at me I dare you." Gale challenges.

"Fine maybe one hit will knock your head clean off"

Gale laughs without humor "Try it I'll have your next snapped within seconds, and then you will never get to see that baby. Not like your going to anyway."

Peeta is shaking in rage anger. "Oh I'll be there for 'my' daughter trust me and she will be the one calling me daddy. You have no future with Katniss or my daughter."

"Hah I do and I will, you wont touch her as long as that shit they shoved in your brain still works. If only we can get that venom to kill you off then we will be set."

I can't take much more of their arguing and bickering."I want you both to leave! I can't take this shit anymore" I shout, I point a finger in Gale's direction "You especially, get out right now Gale. Go check on Haymitch."

To my surprise Gale actually listens to me, he goes to leave but not before bumping shoulders with Peeta. Peeta and I to resume our conversation. I took into his ocean blue eyes and all I want to do is melt. He runs a hand through his wild hair and sighs heavily. The anger and rage still lingers, there is fight in his eyes, apart of him is praying Gale will come back and fuck with him.

"What's wrong with Haymitch?" He asks me in a cool tone of voice.

"He's sick, years of drinking has caught up with him." I whimper.

He shakes his head multiple times in denial.

"They call it Cirrhosis disease. He can die from it, it can shut down his liver and its caused from excessive drinking. He's been drinking since he was young Peeta. What do you expected."

"The hell it will. That man has done a lot for us."

"I know" I cry.

"There is no fucking way I'm letting him die." Peeta snaps "He...He can't...I...no, no,no, no fuck no"

He begins pacing back and forth, and all I can do is watch him helplessly, his eyes are swimming with thoughts and concerns for his mentor, friend and father figure. Haymitch is all those things to us and Peeta's right there was no way we were just going to let him lay down and die without even trying to live. He didn't let us just lay down and die so why should we let him do that.

"I can't deal with this right now Peeta. You have to go. I have to think hard, but please don't leave for good. I still love and need you, and this baby needs you. Just you need to leave right now. I'll come find you later." I promise.

He nods his head and sighs in defeat, and without another word he takes off shutting the front door quietly behind him. As soon as I am all alone I sink down to the floor and cry. These pregnancy hormones are getting the best of me. I hate being an emotional wreck. I hate this entire situation, it is confusing and I place all the blame on Snow, may his soul burn in hell for all times. I'm so mad at the two of them Gale more than Peeta though. Gale had no right saying all those things to Peeta, me and him are going to have a long and civilized conversation when all this insanity blows over. The three of us are going to sit down like normal human being and not like animals, and we are going to talk.

I will tell Gale Hawthorne that I am not 'in love with him' and that I'm sorry that we will never be. I am grateful for all the things that he has done for me. He came back to 12 and took care of me when he found out I was pregnant, yeah it was something Peeta failed to do, but I never told Peeta about the baby until recently, so it's partially my fault that he wasn't here taking care of me.

I pick my body up off the ground, the baby is so still inside of me. She hates when I get upset and irritated, and I hate when she stops moving all together. I wipe my tears out of my eyes and put on the bravest face I can muster up. This has to end here and now, I cannot live like this anymore, being torn between two men. Gale my best friend who is in love with me and now my baby and Peeta the man I am in love with, my baby's father, the man who has so many issues he has to work out. I stand tall in the living room peering towards the closed front door. This ends here and now, I love Peeta, I want him back and I wont rest until we have all of our problems worked. I take a step towards the door and that's when the girl on fire emerges determined to set things straight.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for late update been very busy with work :P

Chapter 5

Names and mind games.

I curl up into a ball on the couch, having stopped myself from chasing after Peeta. I told him to leave me alone and that's what he did. He respected my wishing and now I must sit here and figure out my next move. I want him in my life there is no doubt about that, but the situation we find ourselves in is a complicated one. For me mostly considering I have two men that will do anything in the world for me. Both in love with me and would be willing to die for me. I'm not romantically torn between them I know which one I want. Peeta. I want him back like I never wanted anything else in my entire life. To have him free of any hijacking after effects, to have his violent double personalities gone. I want the man I fell in love with before the games, the kind-hearted, gentle man I know is still there inside him, even if it is deep down. He's lying when he says the man I fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. Those are lies. I saw the way he stroked our daughter and the joyous looked that appeared on his face as he did so, his excitement, the loving way he looked at my swollen stomach. He already loves our daughter and he hasn't even meet her yet. That right there proves he is still the man he once was before all the violence.

The couch beneath me becomes uncomfortable and I pull my body up from my laying position, placing both my swollen feet on the carpet. I'm so uncomfortable and right now I just wish I can have this baby and be done with it. I wish I could speed up time, three months ahead and go into labor now, it would make my life harder of course, but the condition I am in right now Is so horrible. I can't hunt anymore, hardly can fit into my clothes. I was so emotional the day my hunting pants wouldn't button. I had cried for so long, calling myself fat and cursing myself for having eaten so much. Poor Gale had to listen to me rant and rave for hours about how fat I was and how it was all the baby's fault that I couldn't fit into not only my hunting pants, but my fathers brown leather hunting jacket wouldn't zip up over my round belly either. I was beyond upset about that.

Gale being the somewhat kind-hearted person that he was went out of his way in buying me larger maternity clothing from the Hob. At first I was mad at him because he spent his hard earn cash on me, when he could have been saving and buying himself something wonderful and nice to wear. I fought with him non-stop about not taking the clothes, but Gale was just as stubborn as me and after much arguments and tears I gave up and excepted them. I still owed him one for all the maternity clothes he bought for me.

Thinking about Everything Gale has done for me in Peeta's absences causes my anger and resentment towards him to momentarily vanish. He is in his own way a good man, a good friend. He took care of me while Peeta was away and for that I owed him one, but I wouldn't except the fact that he was in love with me, that he wanted to be father to my baby girl because honestly my baby wasn't going to be calling him daddy. She will know who her father is and I was going to do everything in my power to get Peeta back into my life for good.

But right now I didn't want to see either of them, I just wanted to spend some time alone, relax, get my mind together and calm down. I get up from the couch and began pacing back and forth across the floor, my eyes wandering all around the living room, until finally they come to a rest one the large bookshelf in the corner. The large wooden shelf towers over me and has three separate sections, we keep the memory book on the bottom shelf, having easy access to it. I crouch down despite my large belly and scoop up the memory book, a poem book, an old leather one that was my father's plant book.

I place the books on the table and sit back down on the leather couch. The baby starts kicking lodging her foot into my stomach and kicking it as hard as she can. It still freaks me out a bit that I can somewhat see her kicking and moving beneath my belly, its a constant reminder that she is alive and well, and that she is growing. I place my hand over top of her and rub her. I am constantly rubbing my stomach when she is moving I'm actually really addicted to it. I love feeling her move inside of me. She is calming, but at the same time it is frightening.

"Baby, I'm sorry mommy's been stressed out. I know you don't like it." I talk to her and she response to my voice with fiercer kicks, it's almost likes she is punishing me for my stress, her way of telling me to stay calm, that she doesn't like when I get upset. If I get upset the she does to. "I'm trying honey, but things are so complicated right now, but I want you to know that no matter what happens between me and your father, both of us will always be there for you. No matter what. We love you..."

She kicks me softer this time and I believe it's a sign that she just heard what I had to say. I grab one of the books from the table, that being the poem book. I rub my belly, she kicks and I smile.

"Wanna hear some poems, baby?"

She stops kicking all together and I take it as an indication she does not want to hear any poems.

"You know you'll be here in 3 months and I still don't know what to call you. Should we think of a name for you?"

Again she is so still.

"How about we have daddy help us? Hmmm, Would you like that baby. Daddy?"

At the mentioning of the word daddy she starts up again harder this time. Almost like she is excited at the word daddy. Did I really want to go looking for Peeta after I told him I wanted to be alone. He had respected me on my wishes and left. The fire girl side of me tells me to get my lazy ass off this couch and go find him and so does my daughter's fierce kicks. But my brain tells me to stay put because seeing him will make things much worse. Since when do I ever listen to my brain anyway. I get up off the couch, pulling on a large spring jacket and a large pair of boots. It's raining again, not a heavy, drenching type rain, but a light sprinkle. I'm sure I can find Peeta in no time, he was probably checking on our mentor. That was another thing that I was stressing out about, that our mentor was sick from the constant drinking. At least Peeta and I agreed on something; we weren't going to let Haymitch lay down and die like he wanted to. We were going to help him fight for his life; like he helped us fight for our lives.

I emerge onto the porch and carefully walk down the slippery steps, making sure to use the handle to keep my balance. I couldn't risk falling and hurting her. I peer up at the sky, there are dark clouds rolling in every direction. We were in for a massive storm. I'm not so sure if I love the rainy season or hate it. The thunder that sometimes roars through the district reminds me of the cannons in the arena. The loud booms that echo's through your ears signaling a fallen tribute.

The baby kicks me hard, reminding me that she was there and my stress level immediately dropped as I palmed her. The road was wet and slick as I walked down the path towards my mentors house. I strolled up the stairs, taking each one carefully and test the doorknob, it opens automatically and I walk right in. I half expected to smell the disgusting stench of liquor and booze as I enter the house, but I'm shocked as no such odor fills my nostrils.

"Katniss?" The voice fills my ears the instant I walk inside the house.

"Gale, How's Haymitch?"

I glance around the room, finally spotting him on one of the chairs, watching TV and reading a magazine.

"He's not feeling good." Gale replies.

"As long as he takes it easy."

"What are you doing here?" Gale asks.

"I'm trying to find Peeta."

Gale rolls his eyes at the mentioning of Peeta's name "I don't know where he went and honestly Catnip I don't give a shit. He came in here, checking on Haymitch and as soon as he saw me he spills some nasty words and takes off. He really is crazy"

"Stop Gale. All I want is for you to get along, please for me."

Gale is silent, his eyes are cast down at the ground, refusing to look up at me.

"You two our the most important people in my life and it kills me to see you hate each other like this."

Gale bites his lip "He doesn't deserve you, Catnip, and I'm tired of telling you over and over why he doesn't deserve to be in you life or your baby's life."

"It's not his fault. Do you have any idea what Snow did to him? He beta him, tortured him, and Peeta still refused to give up on me and see me as the enemy. He loves me and will always come back to me. That's why I know he will come to his sense soon or a later, but will you? I'm asking you now Gale, will you be uncle to my baby?"

Gale thinks long and hard for a couple of seconds, then lifts his eyes from the ground, shaking his head "No, I want to do and be so much more to that baby."

I shake my head, disappointed by his answer, and without another word I head towards the door, ignoring his comments and his strong attempt in going after me and making me stay. After a couple of minutes of following me down the street, he gives up and turns the other way, heading back into Haymitch's house. His words only adds more stress to my body. I walk for at least thirty minutes before coming into town. It is all but abandon, only a selected few roam the streets and they are the low lives of the district. The type of people who you have to look out for.

I hurry as fast as I can to the bakery as one of them begins eyeballing me and whispers something to his friends. They both grin and without thinking I notice them begin following me to the bakery. I move as fast as my body will allow, sighing in relief as I climb the bakery stairs and push open the double doors. The sugary and heavenly scent of cinnamon buns fills my nostrils and my stomach growls.

I place my hand overtop my baby "Do you think Daddy will give us one"

She kicks in response and I take it as a yes. I move through the bakery, sliding my fingertips gently along the shelves as I make my way into the kitchen, through the double doors. He is there placing a batch of what looked like freshly baked bread on the stove. I don't want to startle him so I wait until he backs away from the hot pan and slides off the oven mitts.

"Peeta?"

He whips around, clearly shocked by my presence "Katniss, What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. I shouldn't have made you leave Peeta. I didn't want you to. Right now I just want to..." I trail off and gaze into his confused blue eyes "Name our baby"

Peeta raises a confused eyebrow at first and then his lips twitch up into a smile "You came all the way here for that?"

I nod "I want to name our baby, and I don't want to do it without you. I don't want to fight, I don't want to discuss our issues I just want to name our baby. She'll be here in three months and she still doesn't have a name. So what do you say?"

Peeta smiles "Okay, let me finish up here and shut these ovens off."

I watch him turn the knobs on multiple ovens and place the dirty pots, pans and dishes in the sink. He then motions for me to follow him up a flight of stairs and into a large room above the bakery. There is a small one-person bed, a desk and chair in the corner, multiple paint supplies and a small recliner. It's Peeta's home away from home and I smile as too how cozy this all seems. I sit down on the bed with my legs crossed and my left hand on my belly, and he pulls up the chair from his desk, gently leans forward and folds his hands.

"Okay so I am terrible at coming up with names" Peeta admits.

"So am I" I say.

Peeta smirks "I do have a book though. Has all kinds of different names in it." His cheeks turns bright red and he leans back in his chair, swiping an old, ragged looking book from his desk "I uh bought this early today at the Hob, I kind of got excited at the fact I'm about to be a father" He mutters. "But I still have my doubts about all this, I'm still angry that you kept this from me."

"Peeta please, no mind games. I just want to name our baby"

He sighs "Okay"

He flips through the book quietly and I try hard to use my brain. He hands me the book after a couple of minutes and I scan the names in front of me, noticing he has highlighted his favorites.

Byle

Rhymer

Delphi

Willow

Savera

Saffara

Fawn.

Prue

"Anything you like?" He questions.

"I like Prue, Saffara, Fawn, and Willow"

It wasn't hard for us to come up with a name, actually I was really shocked that we came up with one as quickly as we did. We both highlighted and picked the names that we liked the best and by the time we were down we had narrowed it down to two names and in the end we used both. It took 20 minutes tops for us to decide and I couldn't be more happier on our decision.

"Saffara Prue Mellark" Peeta suggests.

I smile and nod at his suggestion. Saffara Prue Mellark it was. I stroke Saffara lovingly and asked her if she liked her new name. She responded with a kick and that was when Peeta took me by surprise. He placed both his hands against my stomach and leaned forward unexpectedly placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. My heart pounded in my chest, his lips felt so good. A kiss on the forehead wasn't enough I moved my head and forced his lips to land on mine.

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My heart is thumping loudly in my chest as Peeta suddenly response to the kiss. His lips are warm and wet against mine and it feels so good to have him kiss me again after all this time. I grab both sides of his face deepening the kiss, making sure his face is gently secure and that he can't move away from me even if he tried. His hands are at my back urging me forward. I obey and come forward opening my mouth, my tongue begging for entrance. I groan as he gives it to me and our tongue do a small dance, and then suddenly he pulls away and darts to the other side of the room. His breathing is heavy and his cheeks are red. I feel hurt, upset and all the negative emotions in existence. His back is towards me, both hands placed firmly against the room wall and his head hanging low, as if he is ashamed of what just happened between us. I suddenly feel very selfish at the fact that I was greedy and a kiss on the forehead wasn't enough. I was impatient and wanted more than what he gave me. I wanted his lips and his love, and I wanted it asap.

I get up off the bed and gently move over to where he is standing by the wall. I brave it and place both my hands against his shoulders and palm them, giving his shoulders a small rub. He turns around and I can see the hurtful expression that plasters his face. He is upset at what has just went down between us and I begin wondering if he just flashback in the middle of our kiss. That would explain the sudden bolt across the room. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt me or the baby. Everything between us was a lot different now. Our issues are far from resolved and I guess I can't go kissing him whenever I feel like it as much as I want to.

"I'm sorry" I apologize and rest my head between his shoulder blades. My arms coming up to wrap around his waist. I hug him as close as my large belly would allow and place gentle kisses on the back of his neck, which isn't helping the situation. The baby kicks as my belly connects with Peeta's back. She kicks at her father's touch, its so weird every time his skin comes into contact with mine this is what she does. She moves nonstop, kicks me harder than usual; it's almost like she is excited to have her father close by.

"I can't I'm sorry, Katniss."

"Stop being afraid of 'us', of hurting me and this baby. We can work this out Peet, just please"

"Katniss I think you should go" Peeta says.

"I'm sorry I never had any intentions of causing trouble I just wanted to name our baby which I love Saffara. She gets her own first name and 'Prue' is a mixture of Prim and Rue and then Mellark...Her daddy who she will love so much, who I love so much."

We don't say anything else to each other as we walk down the large flight of steps and back into the bakery. We walk through the double doors and into the store part of the bakery. The sun has set and it is pitch dark out and the last thing I want to do is wander the district streets after dark. Dark is when the scum come out of the shadows to play. Panem may be safer now that president Snow is dead and gone, but that doesn't mean we don't have our fair share of shady characters just like everyone else. I glance over at Peeta. He must have been thinking the same thing because he shuts the kitchen lights off and grabs his coat from the rack.

"I'll come with you to make sure you get home safe." He says.

I feel a little better now "Alright"

"There are a lot of dirt bags out this time of night."

I nod in agreement "I know there was a guy eyeballing me earlier when I came in. I just I'll feel safer walking home with you. You can protect me and the baby."

He whispers "Always" And that makes my heart flutter.

We exited the bakery, he locks it making sure its tight and secure. The moon is high in the sky and it's beautiful, the light that it radiates it incredible. We take off in the direction of home. Peeta is hovering next to me, peering in every direction, almost expecting a mutt of some sort to jump out in front of me and tear me to shreds, but that wont happen the mutts are long destroyed. The only threat that's out there are the people of district 12, the ones that feel the need to rob and mug people, the ones that wont think twice about killing someone for the paper in the wallet. That's why I fear for Peeta every time he walks home from the bakery. I wish he'd wish up and take a cab.

"Do you think maybe we could buy some diapers tomorrow?" Peeta mumbles the question, half expecting me to tell him no and why would I tell him no? I want to spend some time with him.

"Sure we're going to need those and maybe a crib, and clothes."

Peeta smiles "Don't forget high-chair, stroller, toys, Sippy cups" He really can go on and on with that list, this baby will need a lot of things and I'm looking forward to buying them all. The money I have earned from the games is just sitting there collecting dust and what a perfect way to spend it. I will spend every last drop of it on my child. I want to make sure she has everything she needs to survive. Her childhood will not be like mine and Peetas'. She will not struggle to survive like we did I am going to give her everything. I'd give her the moon if I could. It's funny how I can love her so much and I haven't even met her yet. How could you love someone so much and not even know them? I didn't realize I had my hand on my stomach and was practically grinning from ear to ear.

"What are you smiling about?" Peeta asks his own smile appearing on his face.

"I'm just smiling about the baby. How spoiled she is going to be."

"Oh you have no idea how much I'm going to spoil our daughter." Peeta grins.

"Not too much though. We don't want her to be a little brat" I giggle.

"Our daughter will be perfect"

"Just like her daddy"

"Nah, Just like her mommy."

Peeta and I walk for a couple more minutes, chatting about the baby. The Victor village is only ten minutes away and disappointment fills my body. I know the nightmares are going to come fierce and strong tonight and Peeta wont be there to chase them away. I glance down at the ground sadly and kick a pebble a good distance. Peeta notices my sadness and places an arm gently around me. I lean into his comfort. Why does he have to make things so complicated? One minute he is pulling away from our kiss in the bakery and the next he has his arm around me like this.

Peeta opens his mouth to say something, noticing my sadness, but is cut off as four large, dark shadowy figures stand in the entrance of the Victor's village. They are standing in a circle chatting, lighting cigarettes and drinking. I notice one voice belonging to Gale and my curiosity spikes. What the hell is he doing out here at this time of night smoking and drinking in front of the victor's village archway and who were all these people?

Peeta and I inch towards the entrance to the Victor's village and as we get in sight the men's chatter quiets down, and I can feel their eyes resting on the two of us. Gale pushes his way out of the group and eyeballs me.

"Caaaaattttnniiipppp" He shouts excitedly. It's obvious he is piss drunk and so are his buddies. Anger swells up inside of me as I realized he stole that beer from Haymitch, I'm somewhat glad he did because the last thing Haymitch needs is liquor, but I'm also angry at the fact that he stole from our mentor and then proceeded in getting drunk in front of his house.

"You're drunk" I frown.

"So?" Gale snips at me "That drunk doesn't need anymore booze since he's basically on his death-bed."

My heart aches at this and I have half a mind to slap the shit out of Gale. I take a step forward but Peeta places his hand in my own, stopping all movements. He intertwines our fingers pulling me gently behind him. It's obvious he doesn't trust Gale at the moment or these people and neither do I. A person was capable of anything when they were drunk and under the influence.

"Mellark" I can only guess that Gale's eyes have flickered in Peeta's direction "I fucking owe you something Mellark. I've been dying to give it to you since you showed you ugly little faggot face." I smell trouble, but before I can do anything about Gale and two others have approached us. It all happens so fast Gale swings his fist and it collides unexpectedly with Peeta's face. Peeta's hand is torn away from mind and he stumbles backwards. Peeta wipes the blood that has just formed from his lip, his eyes are wild and angry I'm guessing, its to dark to tell. Peeta takes a step forward, fists flying in the air, but before he could land a punch Gale's two friends seize him by the arms and force him to the group. By now all five were around us, all five were kicking the shit out of Peeta and ignoring me completely.

"Stop it your drunk, Gale" I screamed "Leave him alone please."

Gale ignores me and straddles Peeta pounding his face left and right with his fists while his friends laugh and kicks at his back and head. I scream and cry at the group as they beat the shit out of Peeta. I lunge forward, pushing through the group until I get to Gale, who pulled his fists back to deliver another blow to Peeta, I grab hold of hiss strong fist hoping to prevent him from hitting him, but he pushes me back causing me to land on my ass. The baby hated that and began kicking me non-stop in the gut. I place a protective hand on my stomach and watched helplessly as Gale pounded the hell out of the man I loved.

I'm done with him whatever progress we made is now wiped from existence, it was him that I wanted out of my life. I forgave him for everything that had happened during the war, I tried to patch up our friendship the best I could and it worked for a while, but this jealous and resentment he had towards Peeta wasn't going to get him anywhere. After everything we went through to get where we are today, after I'd forgiven him he has to pull something like this.

Gale kicked him one last time before giving up and disappearing into the darkness with his group hot on his heels. I crawl over to Peeta and bury my head in his chest sobbing. He groans and moans, and tries to assure me that he is alright, that he's not hurt too bad, but the painful grip he has on his chest tells me otherwise. I help him stand like I did in our first games by the riverbed. He limps his way up our the porch steps one by one. I held his arm and did the best I could to help him. All the while crying my eyes out as his pain and groaning increased with each step.

"Ka-Katniss, s-stop crying." He coughs out.

I can't obey him "I'm sorry, I-I can't believe him"

"S-shh I'm alright" He assures.

"No you're not" I cry. "How could he do this. I'm going to make him pay dearly."

We enter through the front door and I have Peeta sit on the couch while I bolt towards the downstairs bathroom and gather wash rags and bandages. I pour warm liquid water in a bowl from the kitchen.

"Take off your pants and shirt please so I can clean you up."

Peeta doesn't argue and lifts his shirt above his head revealing the large red marks he received from Gale's size 12 boot, he does the same thing with his pants, his legs are not as bad as his chest. I go to work starting with his swollen face, wiping all the blood that poured from his lip and around his eye. I sniffle and cry as I clean him and when I'm done I hug him tightly against me. He has no extra clothes to change into and there is no way in hell he is putting his ripped blood-wet clothes back on.

"I'm sorry" I apologize for the thousandth time.

"Stop it's not your fault"

I'm about to open my mouth to protest but to my surprise he silences me by placing his lips on mine as gently as he can. I gaze up at him completely shocked and lost for words.

"I thought you didn't want to kiss me"

"I don't know what I want anymore Katniss. I don't know what to do anymore."

His lips are back on mine and we are once again for the second time today kissing. It starts out slow and passionate but quickly turns hot and heavy. His hands are on my face and I'm stuck between his iron grip. Our lips are moving fast and hard against one another, he opens his mouth and pokes his tongue out begging for entrance that I grant him. I'm not sure how long we kiss for but soon he maneuvers me so I am on my back on the couch and he is on top of me gently, holding all his weight on his head. He is so gently with me because of the baby. I kiss him and the fire that I have felt so many times before has risen up inside me.

"I love you" I moan out as he kisses my neck.

"I love you too"

It's not long before he has my shirt up over my head, my pants and panties off. I can't believe he is letting this happen I would have thought he would have stopped it long before he let it get to this point, but he doesn't stop. He kisses me, rips of my bra and his own boxers and before I know it, he enters me, so gently, having so much concern for the baby inside me. We make passionate love on the couch and for the first time in a long time I felt whole, happy, willing to do anything just to be with this man. I only hope that tomorrow when we both wake up this wont be a mistake, that he will stay with me this time and work things out, find a way to deal with this hijacking and more importantly find a way to deal with Gale.

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The pure joy that passes through my body as I lay my head on Peeta's bare chest is indescribable. I was in pure bliss at the fact that he just proved to me that he has control over this thing that plagued his mind, we can make it work. We don't need to be miserable an separated. yes it's going to be hard to get over the fact that he will have issues with memories and the violent outburst will be the hardest thing to deal with, but we will get by. We are stronger together always have been and always will be. I'm hanging onto him tightly and never letting go, not this time, not ever. He is mine, not the hijackings, not Snow, not some girl that feels the need to throw herself at him. Mine. I will prove it to every single person that comes by.

Fear spreads through my body as Peeta softly shifts my so my head is laying on the pillows. We are nest in a cocoon of blankets on the living room floor, in front of the unlit fireplace. Its like the night we conceived all over again, the wonderful afterglow, the mood of it all ,its all perfect.

"Where are you going?" I ask. He can sense the panic in my voice so before he gets up. He leans down and gives me a deep kiss.

"It's alright, Katniss. I'm not going anywhere, just to the bathroom." He explains.

I feel bad for questioning his every move, but I honestly don't trust that he wont leave. I'm frightened that he will leave me again and this time never come back, this time he would make a life for himself in the capitol, start over fresh, and who could blame him. He deserves so much more than I could ever give him. He won't start a new life in the capitol, as good as it may be for him. The baby needs him and so do I, there is now way I can raise this child without his help, and he would never leave me alone to do it all myself. He will be a wonderful father I know he will and I hope this baby will take after him, inherit his good heart and wonderful personality. I pray she gets nothing from me, nothing good can ever come from me.

Peeta returns from the bathroom a couple of minutes later and I take in his stark naked form; his chest is large and bulging with muscles. His manhood is long and thick, swaying from side to side as he walks across the room naked. I bite my lip as my hunger for him again returns. The baby did not like the constant movements and kicked me hard the entire time. Peeta slide backs beneath the covers and takes me in his arms again. I place my head back on his chest and my hands begin to drawl lazy circles into his skin.

"You going to take off again?" I softly whisper in his chest, placing a delicate kiss there.

"What makes you think that?" he asks in a mutter.

"Leave, have sex, leave again, have sex, now its only a matter of time before you leave again. Did Gale beating you up have anything to do with the sex we just had?" I question.

"No, it was a spur of the moment thing. I just...I-I don't know what happened."

"Well whatever happened I liked it" I say and tilt my head to give him a kiss.

He kisses me back and holds me, running his fingertips along my bare arm. I am in complete and total bliss as I fall asleep in his arms, my head on his chest, his arms around me. This is the first time in a very long time that I've went to sleep smiling like this. I had no nightmares that night, only happy, wonderful thoughts. I chase a little blonde headed girl through the meadow. She has long braided blonde hair and blue eyes, a spitting image of her father. She is absolutely gorgeous and perfect. She smiles at me as I chase her through the meadow, there is a dandelion in her braided hair and she is dressed in a long flowing blue summer dress. Her father is not to far away from us, I glance over my shoulder and give him a small smile. Life can't get any better for us.

I wake up the next morning to the soft glow of sunlight peering through my curtains and lighting up my living room. My head is on the soft fluffy pillow instead of Peeta's warm chest. Panic overtakes my as I sit up from our nest of blankets on the ground and search my surroundings, my eyes scan in every direction. He was nowhere to be found. I bite my lip and let a few stray tears fall from my eyes. He left again, how could he do this to me? He said he wasn't going to leave me again.

Just as I'm about to let the tears flow the soft padding of footsteps echo's through my head and I get up on my knees and glance over the back of the couch, not caring that I'm fully naked and completely exposed. He pads into the room, carrying a tray full of food and it becomes obvious he has made me breakfast. I relax and will the tears to go away before he can see them. I sit back down on the carpet, wrapping myself the warm blanket.

"Morning" He greets and sets the tray of food down on the coffee table. He smells fresh, like he has just gotten out of the shower, his hair is slick and he has a very masculine smell to him. He is shirtless; the only piece of clothing on his body is a long pair of sweatpants. I take a moment before greeting him to look at the bruises on his chest, his cheeks and shoulders, anger swells up inside me as memories of last night cloud my mind.

Did Gale even remember any of it? Did he remember beating the shit out of Peeta? He is such a piece of shit and she was so angry at him she could hardly stand it. Peeta sits down next to me on the carpet and places his arms around me, bringing me out of my thoughts. I lean into his touch and lean up to kiss him tenderly. I need his kisses desperately I've went far to long without them and now that I have them again I will never ever take them for granted.

"I thought you left." I mumble between our lips "I woke up and couldn't find you"

"I was making you breakfast. I thought maybe you were hungry" He explains sweetly.

"I am hungry, but now I could use a shower" I yawn.

"Well it's free and I haven't used up all the hot water yet." He grins.

"Yet?" I smile, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.

"Oh you know I could always come in with you, make sure you don't fall"

I still don't understand what has gotten into him today and last night. Why we had sex last night and why he is offering to hop into the shower with me. This whole situation between the two of us is a complicated one. Suddenly the baby hormones take over and I find myself becoming very angry at the games he is playing. I stand up from our sitting position, brining the blanket up with me so it stays wrapped around my naked body. He looks at me, confused by my sudden movement and goes to get up himself, but I stop him with my harsh words.

"Why are you playing mind games with me?" I ask harshly.

He shakes his head, raising a confused eyebrow "Where did that come from?" He asks noticing my outburst and can't make sense of it. I don't answer him instead I head towards the downstairs bathroom to begin my shower. I slam the door behind me and let the blanket drop to the bathroom tiles. This baby and her hormones are really doing a number one me, one minute I'm happy and then the next I'm sad and then angry at Peeta which I have every right to be mad at him as last night events at the bakery play through my mind. The kiss we had shared at the bakery, him pulling away from me to place his hands on the wall, him asking me to leave because he was scared that he might shatter me, he was scared of an 'us' and it was all because of his hijacking: The source of all evil.

The water flows from the tub's spigot and I stand there staring at myself in the mirror as the tub fills up. I am truly hideous, being pregnant is really taking its toll on my body. My stomach is no longer flat but extremely large and round, it bulges which makes me cringe and the stretch marks on my stomach are absolutely hideous as well. I want this to be over soon, like very soon.

I dip my body into the large tub and moan as the warm water consumes me. It feels good and relaxing and the bubbles that automatically shoot from the spigot makes it ten times more relaxing. I dip my head under water a couple of times, wetting my hair and lapping it with lavender shampoo, when it's all rinsed and washed around me, the suds gather around my large stomach which is poking out of the water. I take my wet hands and stroke my enormous belly. She is so still and unmoving, something that I hate and that worries me.

The bath ends and I pull myself out of the tub and dress in my pair of sweatpants and a large baggy t-shirt. Baggy clothes are the only thing that seems to fit me now a days. I can't fit into my hunting pants or shirt, barely my jacket anymore. I'm six months pregnant which means she still has three more months to grow and I hate to think what I will look like in those three months, probably as big as a house.

Once I'm dressed I reenter the living room, Peeta has flicked on the TV; something I very rarely ever use. He flips through channels his blue eyes coming to a rest on news from the capitol. The woman goes on and on about something unimportant and the lack of interest causes him to turn the volume down so its nothing but muffled words. I quickly take a seat next to him on the couch. I lean forward and scoop a piece of toast between my fingers, bringing it up to my mouth and inhaling it.

"I'm sorry" I blurt out after the devoured toast finds a home in my belly "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm so scared" I whimper "So very, very scared, for you, for this baby, for Haymitch. I'm scared because of Gale, he's not the same person he once was Peeta. My Gale, my best friend would have never done what he did last night and I got to know that wasn't the reason we had sex." My gray eyes bore into his Caribbean blue ones, searching for the truth, for a solution to our problems "Please tell me why we had sex last night?"

He shrugs "I don't know, I-I- know I should have stopped it...I-I just...I don't know. That cannot happen again though" He mumbles the last part and I become angry again.

"So what it was another mistake" I hiss, pushing myself off the couch and began pacing back and forth across the carpet.

"Katniss...I flashbacked last night...during it" He says ashamed of himself. "I saw you lying there under me, with your eyes closed in pleasure, you moaning my name, telling me you love me. My emotions got the best of me and I lost sense of reality. I wanted to snap you neck, I wanted the light to leave your eyes"

"I didn't even notice and I don't care" I say plainly.

"You should care; its your life and Saffara's life. "

I snap "You never answered my question: Why did we have sex last night? I mean you were barely able to kiss me in the bakery, barely able to touch me, but yet Gale beats you up, I clean you and then the next thing I know is you are kissing me so deeply I thought I was going to die, you were holding me so passionately that I would have never guessed you had murderous thoughts. I love you so much...and...and you can't keep doing things like this to me. My heart can't handle it. "

"I know and I'm so sorry, Katniss, it just..."

"Happened" I finished his sentence for him

He's quiet for a moment, his eyes are focused on me and then moves to my large stomach "I need help, I've looked for help and I can't find it. I want it so badly; to be normal, for this baby to have a normal father. How am I going to be around her Katniss? You tell me that" He raises his voice and his anger makes me tremble slightly "How am I going to tell my daughter that I was tortured? That I have horrible images of her mother and that's why I try to kill her on a daily basis. Tell me how I am going to explain that to her when she gets older."

"We'll figure something out. We always do"

He sighs and rubs his temples in frustration, his index and thumb on his left hand moving down the bridge of his nose settling on either side. He shuts his eyes tightly and huffs out in irritation. I take advantage of his silence "I love you, Peeta, I love absolutely everything about you. Your leg, Your scars and all your flaws, including the hijacking. Although I can't say I love the hijacking, but it's apart of you and I love you. Your going to be an amazing father" I say "I want you to answer a couple of questions, can you do that?"

He nods.

"Do you love me? Real or not real"

"Real"

"Do you want this baby. Real or not real?"

"Real"

"Do you want to be with me?"

He sighs "Real, but I want to..."

I hush him "I'm asking the questions." He smirks a bit but then allows me to continue "Do you regret having sex last night? Real or not real"

"Not real. I don't regret it" He mutters.

"Do you want to just be friends? Real or not real?"

"Not real, I want to be more than friends."

He stands from the couch and as he does I throw my arms around his neck without giving him a chance to pull away. I crush my lips against his driving him into a deep kiss, weaving my hands through his blonde locks. He kisses me back, the passion ragging between the both of us and soon our conversation about the hijacking is completely forgotten and all that matters is our lips fighting for domination. We don't have sex again although a very heavy make-out session erupts between the two of us.

"I want you" Is the last thing he whispers before carrying me upstairs to 'our bed. He gently lays me down on the silky sheets and it feels good to be in a bed. We resume our kissing the bed making it easier to maneuver in. After several minutes of kissing and running our hands over each other the both of us fall into a deep sleep, comfortable in each others arms.

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry I've neglected my stories been super busy lately.

Chapter 8

I'm sitting on the couch flipping through the baby book when it happens, and Peeta is making cold-cut turkey sandwiches for lunch. The pounding on the front door startles us both and he is the one who bolts quickly from the kitchen towards the front door, not even allowing or giving me a chance to rise from the couch to answer it. The anger that spreads across his face as he comes face to face with the visitor is somewhat frightening. He clutches his fists and eyes them hatefully, curiosity gets the best of me and I rise from my seat and waddle over, standing slightly behind him. The man at the door is wearing a fancy dark green suit and dark green dress shoes. He has a pen and paper in hand, and his dark green hair is slicked back, and here I thought it was Gale knocking at our door, begging for forgiveness for what he has done last night. Which the bruises on Peeta's face are still fresh: A dark purplish color. I will never forgive Gale for what he has done.

The man smiles at the two of us and it becomes clear that he is from the capitol. You can tell by just the way he was dressed and he looked like he could be Caesars Flickerman's twin. He has the same bright smile, the pearly white teeth, the usual hair color and the odd choice in clothing. This person is someone I desperately wanted to avoid. I saw trouble coming, anyone with a pen and paper in there hand was only after one thing and that was a thick juicy story. Peeta and I had no interesting stories except the fact that I was pregnant, but I refused to tell anyone. Only Gale, Peeta and Haymitch knew. I didn't even tell my own mother.

"Can I help you?" Peeta asks calmly.

The man grinned excitedly and place his pen in his left hand so he could reach out and offer his right hand to Peeta. Peeta kindly takes it and waits patiently for the man to respond to his question and give him some sort of explanation about why he was here.

"Oh it's so nice to meet the star-crossed lovers. I'm a big, big fan. I voted and cheered the two of you on every step of the way. It's such an honor to be in your presence. I'm Riggen Batchberry, but you can just call me Rig, since the name is a mouthful. I'm from the Capitol; born and raised. Umm I've come a long way from home to visit you" Rig explained " I'm a journalist and since the topic of the war seems to be dwindling down and dying, the constructions of the districts are old news, people need something hot, new and fresh to talk about, and I believe..." He doesn't get to finish his sentence, Peeta cuts him off.

"I'm sorry, Rig. We cant answer any of your questions" Peeta lets him down softly and kindly.

Rig shakes his head multiple times, a deep frown appearing at the corner of his mouth. He shoots Peeta a deadly look and puffs out his chest, curling both his hands into fists and placing them at his hips. "Well that's...that's not an option. I-I...that's not fair. I have traveled so far, spent a lot of money on train tickets to get here"

"And that is truly unfortunate, but we don't have to take interviews."

"This is bullshit. How are you going to deny me this when I have traveled all this way? Are you that fucking selfish?"

Peeta glares daggers at the reporter and I knew if this guy didn't leave our property soon there will be hell to pay. "I'm sorry we can't help you out with your story, and we would appreciate it if you got off our property."

"Your not fucking sorry, god can't you just answer my questions? It will only take an hour"

"No and if you continue to push us and curse at us we will be willing to call your supervisor and make a complaint." Peeta threatens.

"Go ahead, he wont do anything"

"Okay then, President Paylor is quite fond of us. You don't want her in the middle of this do you?"

"Come on man just one interview"

Peeta shakes his head, his decision is final. The man gets angry at him, shoots him a nasty glare and stalks off our porch angrily. Peeta shuts the door gently behind him and turns to me, examining every inch of me, trying to make sure that the man's comments hasn't upset me, which they don't; he is a typical capitol pest. I shoot Peeta a small smile indicating that I was fine. He approaches me and takes me in his strong arms, hugging me to his body. I don't know what he is thinking right now or what is going on between the two of us, but I just want it all sorted out. I don't want him to regret everything that has happened between us in the last couple of days, between Gale and us making love, the baby and now the reporter. It's all so complicated. I haven't seen Gale since the night he and his group of friends ganged up on Peeta and beat him up, and honestly it was a low blow. I didn't think Gale would stoop that low.

After everything that has happened between Gale and I in the past year or so since the war ended. I had forgiven him, invited him into my home and even let him sleep in my bed which I truly regret it. I don't want to sleep with anyone else but Peeta. Sleeping is the only thing we did in that bed I am so sure of that, although he initiated other things, but I brushed them off as quickly as they came.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks me sweetly.

"I'm fine, just curious about where that idiot came from"

"Don't worry he comes around here again and he will be sorry."

He leans down to kiss me and I smile into our kiss as his lips move against mine. We break apart as my stomach growls and Peeta chuckles, placing his hand on my large stomach. "Someone is hungry" He whispers and gives me another peck "Maybe I should continue lunch."

"Hmmm or maybe you can continue kissing me" I order in a quiet tone of voice.

"That is a possibility, but I can't have my daughter go hungry"

"Our daughter" I teasingly correct him and kiss him again. When we part this time I place my lips by his ears "I'm getting excited to see her."

"Me too. Although I..." I cut him off immediately knowing fully well what he as going to say. He was still so worried about his hijacking, about hurting me and his unborn child. He was so easy to read sometimes, but other times who knows what he was thinking.

"Your not going to hurt her or me. We are past all this, Peeta. I love you and this baby, and we are going to forget all about the hijacking, and focus on us and getting Haymitch better which I think maybe we should go check on him after lunch." I suggest.

"Yeah, sure, but can you handle the smell of his house?"

"Probably not, I can't even handle the smell of meat anymore without getting sick."

He continues to prepare lunch a couple of minutes later while I sit there and watch him, rubbing my large stomach while I do so. The baby is up and nudging me happily, probably her way of telling me she was hungry and was ready to be fed. Peeta and I eat the cold-cuts, exchanging small conversation about the weather outside and about baby clothes which we agreed after we check on Haymitch, we would head into town and see what the hob has for newborns. The last thing I wanted to do was order baby clothes from the capitol. That shit was way to fancy for my liking I would never dress my daughter in something like that.

I put on a light jacket since the clouds were rolling in which was a strong sign of a thunder-storm. I wasn't sure if I liked the spring season or not, it was better than the cold, horrible winter season, but the multiple storms that we have roll through here was not my thing at all. I was afraid of the thunder, there was something about large booming noises that caused my body to shake and tremble with fear. I don't know if the games had something to do with it or not, but I just was scared of thunder more than I was of lightning and the bolts of lightning were more deadly than the loud booms.

Peeta and I walked hand and hand across the street over to Haymitch's house. I looked to my left and right expecting that idiot reporter guy to come bustling out of the bushes and bombard us with questions. Hopefully Peeta set that guy straight. We walked up the porch steps and as soon as Peeta opened that door the smell hit me and I leaned over the side of the porch and allowed my lunch to come back up. It was the nastiest thing I have ever smelled in my whole entire life. Peeta rubbed my back as I got sick and then afterwards took me in his arms soothingly.

"We can't have him live like this, especially since he is sick. Please get him out of there Peet, please" I begged.

He nods his head "Alright, you want to stay out here?"

I nod "I can't go in there I'll be sick to my stomach"

"Ok, stay here on the swing, I'll be back shortly."

He kisses me quickly and takes off into the horrible stench-smelled house. I take my place on the swing and glance up at the cloudy sky, there was definitely a storm on the way. I could feel it in the air and wind as it picked up speed. It was only a matter of time before the sky opened up and took its rage out of district 12. The baby suddenly kicks me and I place my hand above her, sighing and stroking her tenderly. I really cant wait to met her, to gaze upon those blue crystal eyes I know she is going to inherited from her father.

Peeta came out of the house a couple of minutes later, his face beat red, eyes watery, probably from the horrid stench that is inside the house. He's trying hard not to throw up. It must be really bad. I'm glad I didn't step foot in that house because the moment I would have passed through those doors would be the moment I would have thrown up all over Haymitch's carpet, not like vomit would dirty it up even more. The mere thought of it was making me sick and I clutched my stomachs so tightly.

"Well?"

Peeta says nothing and merely looks at me with a guilty expression written across his face. He bites his lip and casts his eyes down between us, focusing on a nice spot on the ground. I know this look; it means he did something that I am not going to like, something that I am more than likely going to scream at his for, but in my condition with the baby and everything I have no energy to scream. I just want this baby out of me, I'm tired of having her kick me every second of every day, lodging her feet painfully in my ribs, and constantly making me eat for not only myself but for her too.

I want her in my arms, wrapped in a pink blanket. I want the anxiety that I have about the labor to go away. I know I can't have her now at 6 months close to 7, I would never wish her to be a preemie. I want her to be happy, healthy and above all come when she wants to come, not when I want her to.

Peeta's voice brings me out of my thoughts "I'm getting him out of this mess. I told him he could take one of our spare rooms."

"He has to shower; no ifs, ands or buts about it, and there will not be a drop of alcohol in this house. I can't stand the smell and I will seriously get sick if I so much as smell a drop."

"Of course I told him all this."

I wasn't so angry about this, but I wasn't happy about it either. Haymitch was sick and this was a good opportunity to keep a close eye on him and make sure he does not see a drop of liquor, but on the downside Haymitch could be a pain in the ass with his snide and sometimes hurtful comments. I know one thing Peeta was taking full responsibility in helping our mentor out. I didn't want him to be stuck in this horrible house. The house that never gets clean, and that has bottles all over the place, and rotten food, ugh...just thinking about it makes me sick.

"Think we can help him with his condition?"

Peeta shrugs "I'll have to see about that. I'll make a couple of calls."

"Good"

Deep down in my gut I knew this was a very good idea, but at the same time my brain was yelling at me this was a very bad idea, that Haymitch was the same old foul man, he was going to take advantage of our kindness. I knew one thing those that man was not going to get a drop of liquor while he was under our roof, that much I was sure of. There may have been hope for our mentor yet. With a new clean home and hopefully we can go into the Hob and get him clean clothes, nothing from that house was coming into ours, no booze, none of his vomit-smelled clothes, nothing just Haymitch, and I made sure Peeta knew this.

"I don't want him bringing anything over, unless it's really valuable to him. I want to buy him new clothes to."

Peeta shakes his head and rejects me "Haymitch has money. I want 'us' to focus on buying the baby clothes. Let Haymitch buy his own."

"Is he even well enough to stand."

Peeta opens his mouth to answer me, but Haymitch stumbles out and answers in a gruff voice "What does it look like to you, just because my liver is about to take a big shit doesn't mean I am a fucking cripple and can't walk. I don't see what the big deal is. I'm perfectly fine in eating it."

"Well we're not" Peeta says calmly.

Haymitch narrows his eyes at him and grins "Noble of you to care so much about a drunkard. Whatever would I do without the two of you."

"For starters you can take a shower." I answer.

Haymitch turns his attention to me and eyes me, his dark eyes wandering towards my large bulge "Kid coming soon? Because I can't deal with the crying, it will annoy me."

I sigh in irritation "No she is not due yet, 3 more months."

"Hah, hope it knows what it's parents are like." He mutters and Peeta, having ears like a hawk hears him and snaps his head in Haymitch's direction, and if looks could kill Haymitch would be six feet under ground by now. The disease itself wouldn't get a chance to put him there. I take a moment to look at Haymitch closely. I don't know what the symptoms are but I can tell Haymitch is developing serious problems. The yellowish coloration developing on his skin, the weight loss, and I'm sure he is probably feeling belly pains or some sore of nausea. This was going to be tough between taking care of Haymitch, getting ready for this baby, Gale, and dealing with this idiot report, which I know he is lurking around here somewhere. People like him refuse to go unless they got what they came here for. We had our plate full, what else could possibly happen to us?"

To be continued...


End file.
